August 9, 2006
Don't don't get your panties in wad, the proper glad rag onsamble for our outing should consist of the following:
1ea. pair of sneekers. preferably black. A spray can of glossy black paint will correct any color variation caused by dirt and mud stains and if you have holes be sure to trim off the fuzz around the hole prior to painting. Finally if your toes peek through, don't paint em red, spray em' black with the rest of the shoe. Red socks (offical PUL color) without rubber bands holding them up prefered!
1ea. pair of cut off jeans. This is semi formal so trim the loose thread and dangling strings around the legs. If your pants are well worn and have an excessive release pressure hole in the seat, don't worry, you can patch it with the sleeves that you rip off your PUL shirt, or simply go 'awh natural' and let your shirt-tail cover the hole, just don't bend over and moon the patrons. P.S. If you tie your pants up with a rope and have dunlop disease, please don't scare your fellow restraunt patrons by exposing that big slab of beef when you hitch up your pants. Butt cracks are strictly forbidden!.
1ea. PUL shirt, preferably without sleeves and not tucked in; it looks old- timey and lends itself to the Marlon Brando, hollywood tough guy image.
Unlike the pants, allow the loose strings to dangle, the longer the better, kind of blends with the under arm hair. Do use deodorant, if you can't afford any (after paying for gas to get there) we will understand. If it's not part of your daily hygenic program, try rubbing lemon under your arms, it works well but, a word of caution, don't shave first!
If you can get a comb through your hair, then comb it. If not, ball caps are acceptable attire. Note, panama hats must be removed at the dinning table! For those of you with teeth, brush em', smile and have a good time chowin' down on them turkey nuts!!
Until that time.
Dan... and the music played on